Paralysis. That's what it feels like. As a clinician, I sometimes wonder if our whole nation is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I wonder if all these articles and images that we are exposed to are causing secondary trauma. No. I don't wonder. I'm sure of it. It's a feeling of sadness, fear, anger, hyper-awareness, the desire to isolate yourself, or poor memory. I couldn't get myself to watch the video of Laquan McDonald getting shot. It filled up my newsfeed, but I was scared how it would affect me. I didn't need to see it. I believed what I read. I believe that there are some police officers out there who abuse their power and do unspeakable things especially to the least empowered in our society. And I also believe that there are people in our world who are religious and political extremists, and commit crimes against innocent people. These are facts. But the most important fact is that most people of faith, most politically involved individuals, and most police officers put their shoes on in the morning just like the rest of us. They are pursuing their dreams and goals, desiring to live peacefully, and are making positive contributions to our society. And many of them are on the front lines of preserving our health and safety. But with the constant bombardment of videos and political rhetoric, we can have the impulse toward isolation and protection of our own, which entrenches us further into the feelings of sadness and helplessness that comes with trauma. Even worse, it can result in anger. This doesn't help you or your society.
I'd like to suggest that there is a solution. Get off of social media. Connect. Start with this weekend. Make time to talk with your families. Spend time connecting, loving, holding, smiling with each other. Next weekend, invite your neighbors over for tea and dessert. The next weekend, reach out to your a local church, mosque, temple, police station, fire department, etc. Perform an act of kindness. Say, "Thank you" for their contribution to your community, to keeping you safe, or just to smile and laugh together. They need it. You need it. Your psychological and physical health depend on it, and the health of this nation will be better for it. Therapists are trained to be aware of, and to appropriately handle vicarious trauma. After hearing the stories of many people who are struggling emotionally, or who have been affected by their own personally traumas, it can have a psychological effect on the therapist. Most people are unaware of the creeping effects of vicarious trauma that all the negative videos and articles are having on them. Some faith based, and community based organizations are already organizing interfaith events with the goal of building bridges and peacebuilding. Please don't wait for them. Good people of the world, we are not helpless bystanders in this horror movie that has been occurring. History has proven that one person, or one small group of people can indeed make a change that alters history. We can keep asking the questions, "What is happening to this world?" or "What is wrong with people?" These questions tend to push us away from the table. Let's instead take a firm seat at the table and spread the good that we have within us.
My third grade teacher, Sister Shirley, taught me in a song, that "Love is something if you give it away. If you give it away, you end up having more. It's just like a magic penny; hold it tight and you won't have any. But lend it, spend it, and you'll have so many, they'll roll all over the floor." Now is not the time to be misers with our acts of kindness, empathy, and compassion. It is time to let the light shine in and the light flow out. Now, would you like coffee or tea?
I'd like to suggest that there is a solution. Get off of social media. Connect. Start with this weekend. Make time to talk with your families. Spend time connecting, loving, holding, smiling with each other. Next weekend, invite your neighbors over for tea and dessert. The next weekend, reach out to your a local church, mosque, temple, police station, fire department, etc. Perform an act of kindness. Say, "Thank you" for their contribution to your community, to keeping you safe, or just to smile and laugh together. They need it. You need it. Your psychological and physical health depend on it, and the health of this nation will be better for it. Therapists are trained to be aware of, and to appropriately handle vicarious trauma. After hearing the stories of many people who are struggling emotionally, or who have been affected by their own personally traumas, it can have a psychological effect on the therapist. Most people are unaware of the creeping effects of vicarious trauma that all the negative videos and articles are having on them. Some faith based, and community based organizations are already organizing interfaith events with the goal of building bridges and peacebuilding. Please don't wait for them. Good people of the world, we are not helpless bystanders in this horror movie that has been occurring. History has proven that one person, or one small group of people can indeed make a change that alters history. We can keep asking the questions, "What is happening to this world?" or "What is wrong with people?" These questions tend to push us away from the table. Let's instead take a firm seat at the table and spread the good that we have within us.
My third grade teacher, Sister Shirley, taught me in a song, that "Love is something if you give it away. If you give it away, you end up having more. It's just like a magic penny; hold it tight and you won't have any. But lend it, spend it, and you'll have so many, they'll roll all over the floor." Now is not the time to be misers with our acts of kindness, empathy, and compassion. It is time to let the light shine in and the light flow out. Now, would you like coffee or tea?
